*sigh*

The good news is that after a stress test and measuring size of baby and amount of amniotic fluid yesterday at the OB the doctor/ultrasound machine measured the baby as being approximately 6 lbs 4 oz and the doctor predicted (although I understand they are often wrong- but I'm hopeful) the baby at full term would be around 7 lbs 14 oz. Phew!  I can do that.  I think going off the sugar is paying off. No 9 lb + baby here........I hope- this has been a great fear for me due to past pregnancies.  I have been mostly diligent. (and it hasn't been too hard!)  I have a bite here and there but never a full cookie etc.  This weekend was general conference and tradition is cinnamon rolls or monkey bread.  The children don't forget this and wanted monkey bread.  I made it with coconut sugar and so I felt I could actually indulge a little. Had I made cinnamon rolls it would have been whole wheat too (this is a step that's not too hard for me).

The bad news is I really struggle with other steps.  I just have a hard time getting excited about the green smoothies.  Which is weird since I really do LIKE them.  A lot! And the salad.  I just don't get why it's so hard.  I cut lettuce for my husband's lunches and have it all done for dinners easily being that it's all washed and cut.  Why is it so difficult?

One of the main challenges is that I am sooooo tired and expired by the time dinnertime arrives (due to pregnancy AND probably lack of green smoothie.....) that all I want to do is get a pizza. I just don't want to cook.  My children are soooo malnourished right now having lived off of mac n cheese and pizza for the last week and a half.  Tonight I had every intention of making broccoli and cashew quinoa but when my husband said not to count on him I just felt it wasn't worth the effort for the fight I was going to have with the children about the meal. Every so often, when well planned, I fit in a salad. And two of the five children, sometimes three, indulge in a salad!  PUNTO!!!!! One night we had the yummy twice baked green potatoes and a spinach salad with strawberries and poppy seed vinaigrette.  Oh. So. Good!  Last night I made veggie lasagna with layers of zucchini and spinach. Dang!  It was so good (although I think next time I will shred the carrots, celery, and zucchini)! I just wish I could find whole grain lasagna noodles in regular stores......................I need a pasta maker............

Anyway, I hope this all resolves after this baby arrives. Officially 4 weeks.  I'm hoping two.

I really REALLY want to get kefir in our diet.  I just don't know how to do it.  I mentioned my oldest that has encopresis and eczema and that we were trying kefir shakes but he has lost motivation and claims not to like them. *sigh* I am more and MORE convinced that those two things with him are the cause of the lost of gut microbes etc. due to the antibiotics he had as a toddler. And I have felt soooo impressed that probiotics will resolve these issues!!!! Not pills.....in natural form. I feel like it is Heavenly Father's answer to me and my husband's prayers about his encopresis. And his eczema is getting worse.............I have also developed a little eczema.  In the same place!!!!  It has to be related!  Candida?

I really have the desire but I lack.  Two steps forward.............one step back.........